Explaining Cremation To A Child

CHILDREN AND DEATH

When explaining cremation to a child and the death of a beloved family member it's important for parents to know that this experience has a profound impact not only adults but children as well.

Children will experience grief as much as adults do.

What is essential to remember when explaining cremation to a child, is that children react and deal with death in various different ways as age progresses.

Their level of understanding, emotional development and ability to grasp life's experiences must be taken into consideration when explaining death to children.

Helping a child understand that death is a natural occurence in life and grief is completely normal is dependant on an adult's ability to speak about it comfortably and openly.

Children rely on adults to confirm that feeling sad and it's all right to cry.

EXPLAINING CREMATION TO A CHILD

This experience will be a positive one for your child.

It's important to note that viewing the body should not be forced and it can provide an opportunity for your child to "goodbye" to your beloved family member.

Depending on the level of curiosity among children, when a beloved family member is cremated, the child may want to know what cremation is.

Basic guidelines should be remembered when answering a child's questions. Always remember to keep your answers simple and easy to understand.

Remember to choose your words wisely when communicating. Avoid words that have a frightening or negative connotation such as "burn" or "fire".

In a very confident way, briefly explain the cremation process.

Tell your child that the body is in a special container called a casket is taken to a place called a crematory where using a special process that causes no pain, reduces it to something that looks like white or grey sand.

Explain to your child that the sand we call cremated remains are placed in a container called an urn. Don't be afraid to show your child the urn.

Some children will be curious enough to ask to see the contents as well. If your child does request to see the contents, make sure that you've seen them first to help you effectively describe the contents.

Then let your child decide for him/herself wether they want to proceed.

If your child is old enough, you may want to consider having the child help with planning the memorial service.

Your child may not understand common terms used and their meaning, the simple fact of being involved will help establish a level of comfort and understanding of the cycle of life.

ANSWERING A CHILD'S QUESTIONS

- Beware of what a child is capable of understanding. Always avoid complicated answers that will lead to confusion.

- Communicate in words that your child will understand.

- Beware of your tone of voice. Avoid over-emotional situations that will construe your explications.

- Repeat your explanations as many times as necessary. It's not uncommon for a child to ask the same question over and over again.

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